Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office PDF

NiceGirlsDon’tGet the Corner Office:

101UnconsciousMistakesWomenMakethatSabotageTheir Careers

NotesbyFrumiRachelBarr,MBA,PhD

Author: Lois P. Frankel, Ph.D. Publisher:Warner Business Books Copyright year: 2004

ISBN:0-446-53132-4

Authors’ Bio: Lois P. Frankel, Ph. D., is president of Corporate Coaching International, a Pasadena, California- based consulting firm that specializes in executive coaching, leadership development, and team building. She is also a popular keynote speaker and author of Overcoming Your Strengths.

Authors’ big thought: Some women roar ahead in their careers while others stagnate. Frankel has observed a unique set of behaviors that women learn in girlhood that sabotage them as adults. In this groundbreaking guide she helps you eliminate those unconscious mistakes that could be holding you back, and offers invaluable coaching tips that you can easily incorporate into your social and business skills.

ChapterNotes:

Chapter1:Introduction:

The author has worked with thousands of women both on a one-on-one basis and in groups. This book is a composite of nearly twenty-five years of experience as a coach, trainer, human resource professional, and psychotherapist. It’s about the unique mistakes that she has seen women make at work, the coaching suggestions that she has provided to help them take charge of their careers, and the ways in which women hold themselves back from achieving their full potential.

From early childhood, girls are taught that their well-being and ultimate success is contingent upon acting in certain stereotypical ways, such as being polite, soft-spoken, compliant and relationship-oriented. Throughout their lifetimes, this is reinforced through media, family and social messages. It’s not that women consciously act in self-sabotaging ways; they simply act in ways consistent with their learning experiences.

When the author say “quit being a girl” the meta-message is – you don’t have to act in ways you were taught. You have choices. Grow into your role as a leader.

This book not only helps identify potential areas for development and points out critical success factors. After raising awareness there are concrete suggestions for behavioral change that are proven to be effective in moving women forward in their careers

The book has a self-assessment to help identify defeating behaviors. You will get the most out of this book if you take the time to take the assessment.

Here are some specific coaching tips – a sample of what is in the book. Take them one at a time: Give yourself permission to move from girlhood to womanhood

• Visualize yourself as you want to be.
• Talk back to the fearful voice inside your head.
• Surround yourself with a Plexiglas shield (designed to allow you to see what is going on around you, but not be punctured by negativity.
• Create what you want others to say about you
• Recognize resistance and put a name to it
• Ask for feedback
• Don’t aim for perfection.

Chapter2:HowYouPlaythe Game

Business is a game and you can win it. Typically women do well listening, collaborating, motivating, and seeing the human side of their staff. The areas where women often aren’t as skilled as men are in knowing where the imaginary boundaries are and understanding the unspoken rules.

1. Pretending it isn’t A game – you need to be aware of the rules and develop strategies for making them work to your advantage. Not only is business a game, but the rules of the game change from organization to organization and from department to department.
2. Playingthegamesafelyandwithinbounds. Women have a tendency to play safe rather than play smart. You have to use the entire field available to you.
3. Working Hard. People aren’t hired and promoted simply because they work hard. It happens because the decision maker knows the character of the person and feels confident about his or her ability not only to do the job, but also to do it in a way that promotes collegial team relationships.
4. Doingtheworkofothers. Women tend to take responsibility for not only their own work but also the work of others.
5. Workingwithoutabreak .Women will work non-stop to crank out a project. Giving the impression you are always up to your ears in alligators could hinder being given special opportunities that could later bring you recognition,
6. Being naive. We often don’t probe deeply to determine the veracity of what we’re told, either because we don’t want to embarrass the other person or because we want to see only the good in people.
7. Pinchingcompanypennies. When you pinch pennies, you‘re wasting time and energy on meaningless matters. You may be viewed as someone who isn’t ready to play in the big leagues.
8. Waitingtobegivenwhatyouwant. If you don’t ask for what you need, you don’t risk hearing “no”, but you also won’t get what you want.
9. Avoidingofficepolitics. Politics is how things get done. If you’re not involved in office politics, you’re not playing the game, and if you’re not playing the game, you can’t possibly win. The business of politics is simply the business of relationships and

understanding the quid pro quo. Careers are made or broken in the workplace based on relationships. And when you need a relationship, it’s too late to build it.

1. Beingtheconscience– you need to weigh the benefit of pointing out minor infractions in company policy or procedure in light of the potential consequences.
2. Protectingjerks– Women are like jerk flypaper. Not only do we attract them more than men do, but we also tolerate them longer
3. Holdingyourtongue – Fearful of hearing the accusation that we’re too aggressive or pushy, women will avoid saying things that should legitimately be said.
4. Failing to capitalize on relationships– Men rely on relationships to open doors for them; they don’t view it as taking advantage of anyone. We do business with, and trust the judgments of people we like. Don’t be afraid to connect the dots between the people in your network.
5. Not Understanding the Needs of Your Constituents – the trap many women fall into is thinking they know what’s best for their constituents and therefore not asking the right questions on the front end.

Chapter3:HowYouAct

Success in the world of business depends on your ability to know your part and how to play it. We are judged by whether we understand the nuances of what it means to act professionally.

This chapter focuses on the subtle, stereotypical ways in which women behave that contribute to an overall impression of their being less competent than they really are. Any one of the behaviors would not be a deal buster – but put several together and they can divulge a woman’s underlying naiveté, need for approval, and lack of self-confidence.

1. Polling before making a decision – recognizing the value of alternative input is a good idea but the inability to act without knowing what everyone thinks and if they approve isn’t.
2. Needingtobeliked – it’s critical to understand the difference between being liked and being respected. If you are only concerned with being liked you will most likely miss the opportunity to be respected. Your need to be liked will preclude you from taking the kind of risks taken by those who are respected. Paradoxically, it’s the people who are liked and respected who are most successful in the workplace.
3. Not needing to be liked – Fear of being perceived as a pushover causes some women to adopt the attitude “I’m not here to win a popularity contest. “ Many women have to allow their human, more stereotypically feminine side to emerge while at the same time capitalizing on the best of their more stereotypically masculine style of management.
4. Not asking questions for fear of sounding stupid – asking a legitimate question to ensure understanding is mare a sign of confidence than of ignorance. Asking yourself the simple question, “will the answer apply to only me?” should help you decide whether you should ask it.
5. Actinglikeaman– you must play the role that’s expected, while also widening the boundaries of the stage.

20. Telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth– when women are asked to debrief a project where something has gone askew, she’ll blame herself and identify all the things that she could have done differently. Men are objective and Teflon-like in their descriptions. Telling the truth doesn’t require you to cast yourself in a negative light. It requires an honest, objective description of facts without blame or self-flagellation.Sharingtoomuchpersonalinformation – this mistake is actually an extension of telling the truth to an inappropriate degree. Sharing personal information isn’t in and of itself a mistake – it’s sharing too much of it than can come back to bite you. Beingoverlyconcernedwithoffendingothers – if someone acts offended by a

legitimate request or concern of yours, the implied message is that you’ve acted inappropriately or done something wrong. As a result, they know you’re more likely to back down. This is a ploy that women unwittingly buy into.

1. Denying the importance of money – if you’re not earning a fair salary or not being given the raises you deserve, it’s time to focus on money. It won’t mean that you’re any less committed to your work – only that you’re equally committed to your well- being and that of your family.
2. Flirting– It’s the women who flirt – not the men- who most often become the butt of office jokes and who are more likely to suffer the consequences.
3. Acquiescing to bullies – when we are bullied, we do one of two things: counterattack or acquiesce. By simply letting someone know how you feel, you stand a better chance of eliminating the offensive behavior – something that will never happen if you acquiesce. Even if the behavior doesn’t change, you’ve put the person on notice that you won’t tolerate it and, as such, you’ve maintained your self-respect.
4. Decoratingyourofficelikeyourlivingroom – Your office or work space can be a reflection of who you are and what’s important to you. By emphasizing your

femininity, you diminish your credibility. The décor of your office should be consistent with the kind of firm in which you work.

1. Feeding others if you don’t want to be perceived as stereotypical, think twice before putting food on your desk. This is especially true of you’re a woman who makes many of the other mistakes in this book. It isn’t the food alone that’s lethal – it’s the combination of mistakes that diminishes your credibility.
2. Offeringalimphandshake – a handshake is how you make your first impression upon initially meeting someone. You do want your handshake to convey the message; I’m someone to be taken seriously.
3. Being financially insecure – if you don’t have financial security, you wind up acting in ways and making decisions counter to your best career interests. Women are more likely to remain in dead-end jobs and be forced to work beyond the normal point of retirement because they can’t afford to leave. Women are less likely to make tough, but necessary decisions because they are afraid to rock the boat and lose their jobs. And women are often less able to understand the financial implications of business decisions because they don’t pay close enough attention to their own financial affairs – the place where they should be learning about financial matters and extrapolating the lessons to business.
4. Helping– Helping others is one way capable women gain external validation for their

self-worth. Many men take this to the extreme and fail to transition form doer to leader. If you’re busy doing, you don’t have time to provide the vision, guidance, technical support, and oversight required of a leader.

Chapter4:HowYou Think

Changing how you think about how you work is essential to changing self-defeating behaviors. This section focuses on some of the beliefs you may have formed early in you work life that need to be retired before you do.

1. Makingmiracles– Every time women make a miracle they set the bar higher in terms of what people expect of them. Women take pride in the fact that they can do more with less. While they are busy going through hoops, men are doing things that give them more visibility and ultimately, more rewards.
2. Takingfullresponsibility– – just because you’re assigned a project doesn’t mean you’re the only one who can do it or should do it. Learn to delegate.
3. Obedientlyfollowing instructions. People who tend to get ahead know how to balance the tactical with the strategic. You can add value by not obediently following instructions but rather by thinking and planning – which is what you want to be known for.
4. Viewingmeninauthorityasfatherfigures – Whether expecting the best or the worst from a bass doesn’t allow you to build an independent, objective relationship with your boss or other senior executive.
5. Limitingyourpossibilities –If you live your life within the boundaries circumscribed by others, you’ll never know the full scope of your potential – nor will anyone else.
6. Ignoring the quid pro quo -Inherent to every relationship there’s a quid pro quo – something that’s exchanged in return for something else. Women tend to give away favors and expect nothing in return. An important part of building relationships at work is identifying the quid pro quo. What do you have that others want or need? Every time you give people something they need, a (figurative) chip is deposited in your account. The trick is to have more in your account than you need.
7. Skippingmeetings– meetings are to see and be seen, meet and greet, or play show and tell. It’s part of your branding.
8. Puttingworkaheadofyourpersonallife – having activities and people outside of work that are important to you helps you remain positive and productive. It’s a fallacy that you have to give up your life to have a successful career.
9. Lettingpeoplewasteyourtime – being nurturing and kind is not mutually exclusive of being protective of your time. Think about how you let others take advantage of your time.
10. Prematurely abandoning your career goals – Women often allow others to sidetrack them from their early dreams and career goals. As a result, when we’re interested in returning to them, we may find the workforce is no longer interested in us. Even if circumstances prevent you from achieving your goal, remain involved with your interests and up to date with your field of interest. You may have what it takes to be successful, but if you lose yourself in someone else’s priorities or societal expectations

you can’t be judged by your potential but rather by your history.

1. Ignoringtheimportanceofnetworkrelationships– remember that when you need that relationship, it’s already too late to build it. Your job includes building a relationship with everyone on your relationship wheel.
2. Refusingperks– you don’t take a perk because you want it, or think you deserve it. You take it because it manages the impressions others have of you – and those you have of yourself.
3. Making up negative stories – Negative self-talk to explain situations continually put you in a position to second-guess yourself. Replace negative stories with more neutral ones. Focus on solutions, not the problems themselves.
4. Strivingforperfection – having been made to believe we’re totally flawed, imperfect beings; women overcompensate by striving for perfection.

Chapter5:HowYouBrandandMarketYourself

As young girls we often learn that we are to be seen and not heard. Carrying that forward to adulthood translates into doing our work in a quiet and unassuming way. Women often say that they don’t care if they’re given credit; they’re just happy to make a contribution to the bottom line. The result is that we are overlooked for promotion and assignments we’ve actually earned.

This section and the coaching tops in it are designed to help you define your brand, acknowledge the value of your brand, and develop a plan for marketing your brand.

1. Failingtodefineyourbrand – according to Peter Montoya “A personal brand is a promise of performance that creates expectations in its audience. Done well, it communicates the values, personality, and abilities of the person behind it.” It is important to clearly be able to define your own brand.
2. Minimizingyourworkorposition – identifying why your business needs you is critical to accurately marketing your brand. Related to this is the ability to succinctly tell others what you do while putting the most positive spin possible on your statement.
3. Using only your nickname or first name – the diminutive of anything diminishes importance. It’s a small but significant difference. Using only your first name relegates you, once again, to a childlike status. The combination of your first and last names moves you to adulthood.
4. Waitingtobenoticed – make sure that you know your value and that you communicate it to others.
5. Refusing high-profile assignments – the opportunity to showcase your capabilities through a high-profile assignment shouldn’t be passed up. Use these opportunities to profile your unique capabilities and build relationships with others viewed as movers and shakers.
6. Beingmodest– there’s a time and place for modesty. When people fail to notice major accomplishments it’s your job to illuminate them.
7. Stayinginyoursafetyzone – Unless a woman is a 100 percent confident she meets all the expectation for a job, she won’t consider throwing her hat in the ring. Men are more likely to seek stretch assignments. There’s no surer way to be crossed off the list

for future opportunities than by refusing an offer.

1. Givingawayyourideas– Women often let their ideas get stolen rather than calling attention to the source. Every time you give away an idea you give away your self- respect. Do this enough times and yours self confidence begins to dwindle immeasurably. Your ideas have value in the marketplace.
2. Workinginstereotypicalrolesordepartments – Remaining too long in such a role or department will eventually limit your marketability.
3. Ignoring feedback – it’s important to know what people say about you or you can’t effectively market yourself. Perception is reality. People do not know you by your intentions; they know you by your behavior. Ask for feedback and do something with it.
4. Beinginvisible– women are invisible enough without having to take extra steps to be doubly certain they aren’t seen or noticed.

Chapter6:HowYouSound

The best ideas fall on deaf ears if they’re not communicated in ways that instill confidence and credibility. How you sound doesn’t refer to the content of your messages but rather to your word choices, tone of voice, speed of speech, and how you organize your thoughts.

This chapter examines each of these factors and gives specific language to practice in the coaching tips.

Combined with how you look, how you sound comprises more than 90 percent of the perception of your credibility.

1. Couchingstatementsasquestions – This is a common mistake women make – asking a question as a safe way of expressing an idea without being perceived as too direct or pushy. By asking a question instead of making a statement we relinquish ownership of and the outcomes for our ideas.
2. Using preambles – the more words you use to make a point, the more diffused your message becomes and the less likely it is the listener will hear your unique message. Women use preambles as a way of softening their messages for fear of being seen as too direct or aggressive.
3. Explaining– the counterpoint to the preamble is the lengthy explanation. We think the more we talk the better case we make, when in fact the opposite is true.
4. Asking permission – every time a woman asks for permission to do or say something, she diminishes her stature and relegates herself to the position of a child. By seeking permission before acting we are less likely to be accused of making a mistake – but we’re also less likely to be viewed as confident risk takers. Regardless of your position

you’re entitled to take independent action within a given set of boundaries. Your job is to identify those boundaries, clarify them with your boss, and act within them.

1. Apologizing – Apologizing for unintentional. Low-profile, non-egregious errors erodes our self-confidence and, in turn, the confidence others have in us. It’s a conflict- reducing technique, but one that makes you look like you’re at fault when you’re not.

61. Usingminimizingwords– minimizing words are those that diminish the importance or size of an achievement. Practice saying thank you!Usingqualifiers– these include such comments as “Maybe it would be better if”. They serve the purpose of softening, and weakening, your message. Not answering the question – Women often make the mistake of thinking they have the luxury of thinking out loud in response to tough questions. They believe putting all the options on the table is the most helpful and fair thing to do. The obvious problem is that it leaves the questioner without an answer. Talking too fast – we speed up our communications so that we can get our entire message out before being interrupted or given a sign that we talk too much. Because so much of your credibility is dependant on how you sound, regardless of the actual content, it’s important to convey confidence, accuracy and depth of thought. Speaking too quickly does just the opposite. Rushing through our message can be construed as not being thorough or thoughtful in your approach. These interpretations, can, in turn, cause the listener to question the accuracy of what you’re reporting. Theinability tospeakthelanguageofyourbusiness – every business and profession has a language and jargon all its own. When we fail to use the language it conveys a lack of familiarity. One of the best ways to exercise your influence is to use language unique to your industry and profession. It is important to know how to speak about parts of the business that are not your own. Using non-words – these are habitual sounds and phrases you use to fill up silence. When they infuse your speech, they make you sound unsure or hesitant. Becoming conscious of these credibility busters can be the toughest part of changing the habit. Usingtouchy-feelylanguage– saying “I intend to” is more confident than saying “I

might”. It is important to make a stronger statement about the speaker’s commitment to what’s being said and a desire to become visible.

1. Thesandwich– the sandwich model of giving feedback suggests that when you’re giving feedback you should couch the negative between two pieces of positive feedback. To be effective feedback has to be specific, behavioral, and focus on positive results.
2. Speakingsoftly– the volume of our voices is one more way in which we can manage others’ impressions of us. By combining appropriate volume and gestures, you immediately convey a sense of authority or subject matter expertise.
3. Speakingatahigher-than-naturalpitch– when a woman’s voice reverts to sounding high and thin, it becomes like a little girl’s voice. People respond not only to the content of your message, but the sound as well. Higher-pitched messages, which are stereotypically more feminine, tend to be discounted. Lower voices are accorded more attention and respect. Even men with higher-pitched voices face the same problems with credibility as do women.
4. Trailing voice mails – More words soften a message. Fewer words make it more memorable.
5. Failingtopauseorreflectbeforeresponding. A pregnant pause is a powerful tool to add to your communication skill set. A pause before speaking does several things. It conveys a message of thoughtfulness about what you’re about to say. It generates

interest on the part of the listener. A pause and the ensuing silence give others the impression you’re self-confident. And they give you time to put your thoughts into a concise framework.

Chapter7:HowYouLook

This section examines the things you may unconsciously or habitually do that contribute to perceptions of being less capable and competent than you really are. Few women make only one of them, and when you combine several, it significantly contributes to the appearance of diminished competence.

Those who possess a competitive degree of competence and look and sound the part of a professional are the ones who move fluidly through their careers.

Research shows that 55 percent of your credibility comes from how you look. How you sound accounts for an additional 38 percent. Only 7 percent of your credibility is based on what you say.

Fortunately it’s one of the easiest things you can address on your path toward forging the impression that you are a credible and competent professional.

1. Smilinginappropriately– girls are socialized to smile more than boys. When men don’t smile they are taken seriously. When women don’t smile people are concerned that there is something wrong. Consciously match your facial expression to your message.
2. Taking up too little space – the use of space is one way we make a statement about our confidence and sense of entitlement. This is also true when making a presentation – use the full amount of space available and gesture appropriately.
3. Usinggesturesinconsistentwithyourmessage– gestures should be integrated with your energy. Gestures should complement not detract from, your message.
4. Being over- or under -animated – Allan Weiner, president of Communications Development Associates uses the term carbonation to refer to a person’s degree of animation. It includes not only gestures, but also facial expressions, speed of talking, and other forms of body language. Women, more than men, are guilty of over- carbonation because they feel responsible for making everyone happy. As a result, they go out of bounds by putting more verbal and nonverbal energy into everything they do. Conversely, if a woman has previously been given the message that she’s too bubbly or emotional, she can fall into the trap of being under-carbonated, or flat and unanimated. Neither set of behaviors convey the message most professional women want to project.
5. Tilting your head – the tilt of a head in conversation has the impact of softening the message. It’s almost always used to either imply a question, signal that you’re listening, or encourage the other person to respond. Women tilt their heads significantly more than men in conversation. When trying to convey a direct message, it can be interpreted as uncertainty or lack of commitment. So the message is not to stop tilting your head entirely. But do be aware of when you might do it at difficult moments as a means of softening a message that shouldn’t be softened.
6. Wearing inappropriate makeup– makeup is an accessory similar to a piece of jewelry or a scarf. People do notice it. Wearing too little can diminish your credibility as much

as wearing too much.

1. Wearingthewronghairstyle– the most common mistake is for women to wear their hair too long.
2. Dressinginappropriately– follow the maxim, Dress for the job you want, not the job you have. People notice not only the style of clothes we wear but also their quality.
3. Sittingonyourfoot– if you want to be taken seriously, sit with both feet on the floor, knees together. Never sit with your foot tucked under you.
4. Groominginpublic– no matter how discreet you think you are, grooming in public is noticed and mentally logged by those around you. Real women avoid PDG (public display of grooming).
5. Sittinginmeetingswithyourhandsunderthetable.In meetings, lean forward slightly, resting your forearms on the table with hands lightly clasped. Not only does it make you look more involved in the conversation, but it also puts you in a perfect position to gesture when needed.
6. Wearingyourreading glassesaroundyourneck– it’s the rare woman who finds her credibility increasing with age. It’s not necessary to emphasize it.
7. Accessorizing too much – Use accessories to manage the impression you want to make. Carefully chosen, accessories add style and personality to other-wise conservative corporate attire. They convey a message about you that may not be heard through your words and presence alone. But when inappropriate or overdone, they detract from your credibility.
8. Failingtomaintaineyecontact. When a woman avoids eye contact it is usually a sure sign that she’s uncomfortable or unsure of herself. Use your eyes to allow others to see your sincerity, self-confidence, and knowledge, and to see the other person’s.

Chapter8:Howyou respond

In this chapter the author examines how you respond to the ways others treat you. Many women have been socialized to respond to inappropriate treatment in a polite, docile, or acquiescent way. Unlearning early childhood messages are a huge step on the path to living an empowered life.

1. Internalizingmessages– parents are guilty of giving children all kinds of messages that they carry around for a lifetime. Not all of these are negative, but they do impact our self-esteem and how we see ourselves in the world. Sometimes the messages are implicit expectations for how you should behave. It is important to become self-aware and learn which lesson learned in childhood contributes to your strengths and what complementary behaviors may be required to balance that strength.
2. Believingothersknow morethanyou. Women often underestimate how much they know and put more stock in a stranger’s opinion than in their own wisdom.
3. Taking notes, getting coffee, and making copies. Each time we accept on of these tasks, we perpetuate the stereotype that a professional woman’s role is to nurture, care for, and serve others at work. The inevitable result is that we either feel badly

about ourselves or the situation.

1. Toleratinginappropriatebehavior– just because you don’t react in the moment doesn’t mean you don’t have the right to go back and revisit an inappropriate encounter.
2. Exhibitingtoo muchpatience– women take the maxim “all good things come to those who wait” to the extreme. Patience is not a woman’s virtue.
3. Accepting dead-end assignments – don’t be too quick to accept an assignment just because you think you’re supposed to or you don’t want to appear ungrateful. Never accept any assignment before first checking it out.
4. Puttingtheneedsofothersbeforeyourown– as women we frequently find ourselves in a position where our needs come second to those around us. When it becomes the norm instead of the exception to the rule, it’s time to take a look at what you do to perpetuate it. Make sure that you know what you need or want by routinely asking yourself what it is.
5. Denying yourpower – Successful well-educated women share in common that they do not see or acknowledge their own power. Women deny their power as a result if the messages they received growing up. Women often have to redefine power – for women it’s not about controlling others, but having control of one’s own life.
6. Allowingyourself tobethescapegoat– women often choose to be the scapegoat rather than to risk conflict.
7. Accepting the fait accompli – when it comes to dealing with women, people often bet on the fact that you won’t argue and will accept a decision as fact. It is also used as a negotiation strategy. Women are far more likely than men to go for the bait. If you’re like most women, you’ll find a way to rationalize the decision and wind up believing it’s what you really deserve.
8. Permittingothers’mistakestoinconvenienceyou– assess the risk against the profit of meeting unreasonable expectations caused by someone else’s mistake.
9. Being the last to speak – The inclination to hold back when men are present is a huge mistake. Whether it’s a small team meeting or a larger group, those who speak early and often are seen as more credible, greater risk takers, and possessing more leadership potential than those who speak later.
10. Playing the gender card – There is no doubt that sex discrimination is a real part of a woman’s employment experience. There is a stigma attached to women who “make noise” publicly about it – people suddenly become uncomfortable around them. They begin to act differently around you and treat you more carefully. There are a few reasons why the author strongly urges women to explore every other alternative available to them before playing the gender card.
11. 100.Tolerating sexual harassment – no woman should ever feel she has to tolerate sexual harassment which is different from sex discrimination. Whereas sex discrimination refers to decisions made on the basis of gender, sexual harassment refers to decisions based on a woman’s willingness or unwillingness to respond to requests for sexual favors or tolerate an intimidating, hostile, or offensive work environment. There isn’t quite the same stigma attached to a claim of sexual harassment, because most smart employers know that women do not make the

charge frequently or frivolously.

1. 101.Crying– you don’t need an example – you have either seen it or done it. Don’t substitute tears for anger. When you feel the tears well up, ask the question, What’s making me angry?” When you do cry at work, immediately ask to be excused.

Recommendation: If you recognize and change the behaviors that say “girl” and not “woman”, the results will pay off in career opportunities and in an image that identifies you as someone with the power and know-how to occupy the corner office. This is just an outline of the mistakes women make. Read this book for the coaching tips and the stories that will help you make the behavioral changes you need.

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Aboutthereviewer:FrumiRachelBarr,MBA,PhD

Frumi has a passion for inspiring leaders to look to the future, take decisive action and maintain momentum to build profitable and sustainable companies. In a customized immersion format Frumi accelerates the creation of strategic initiatives and an action plan to implement them. She is the Trusted Advisor to call for facilitation needs.

Frumi is inspired by two colleagues – Simon Sinek, author of StartWithWhyand John Strelecky author of The Why Café. She can guide you to align your company’s “Why” with that of your company leaders and employees so that everyone understands the clarity of WHY you do what you do, the discipline of HOW you do what you do and the consistency of WHAT you do.

Dr. Frumi is the author of ACEO’sSecretWeapon: HowtoAccelerateSuccess available on Amazon in both Kindle and paperback formats.

To schedule a free ContinuingwithWHYconsultation email [email protected] or call 949-729-1577.